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Bildad the Shuhite

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Sunday, October 21st, 2012
9:47 pm
it used to be that if you forgot about lj for six months, you could keep clicking the 'previous' link until you had read all your friends' entries. apparently now you only get a page and if you want more then fuck you. and no i don't feel like searching through a bunch of different peoples' calendars. this doesn't make me feel like keeping up. it makes me feel like deleting

status: completely insane and just keep staring uselessly at my mess and responsibilities. but doing ok nonetheless

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Thursday, September 1st, 2011
8:08 pm - feedback to paypal
i think it's possible that i have a tendency to over-fill when presented with a little box to send feedback on a website:

where to even start? i guess for a start, if your help system were less horrible, i wouldn't be wasting your time with this email. basically i have "instant bank transfer" set up, but my purchases are failing to complete. i'll itemise my complaints:

for starters, i had to change browsers. using Chrome, the "subtopic" button doesn't appear, and your system very kindly refuses to send email if a subtopic isn't selected. most system designers understand the concept of a safety net that covers the possibility that their genius hasn't anticipated every possibility. why has your extremely successful company not hired any of these normal designers?

on the exact same topic, the subtopic options should generally include "other". i really hate being forced to select an option that i know to be incorrect

now, i suspect my particular problem is to do with account limits. however, when i click the "view limits" link, i'm shown a page that MANIFESTLY TELLS ME NOTHING ABOUT MY LIMITS. so firstly i can't imagine how helpful you think this link is, and secondly i want you to know that the reason i haven't spent hours exhausting every avenue to make an urgent payment happen is because i have lost faith in your automated help options. i even spoke to katie-the-robot, and my faith in AI has been shaken. katie is apparently less advanced than eliza, written in 1966 with a few dozen lines of code. just between you and me, i recommend you replace katie with eliza - people still won't have their paypal problems resolved, but i imagine they would feel better about themselves after the experience.

so. the main problem. very simply, i try to buy things, i log in to paypal at the checkout, and the "instant transfer - confirmed" screen briefly pops up and disappears, and i have not attained possession of a G.I. joe doll with realistic kung fu grip. now, in a world run by demons and lizard people masquerading as elected officials, i don't really expect paypal to look at my situation and explain why my payments don't work or if there's a simple remedy tailored to my exact situation. however, i would like to know how it is you don't understand the problem solving potential of proper real time feedback, to whit: (a) how is it possible for me to see a screen saying "instant transfer confirmed", if even for a second, when no instant transfer has occurred? and (b) if a payment is going to fail, why don't i get a reason for failure, rather than wondering which aspect of paypal's thousands of interacting parts isn't functioning?

ok, i imagine (a) and (b) are more to do with the vendor system, but i also imagine paypal would exert some influence over vendor implementations. i also think that (c) i should at least be able to see a log in my paypal account that lists something as important as a failed transaction attempt

finally, i must add that paypal surprised me in how simple and easy it has been to use, until now


ian, who struggles with mental health

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Sunday, November 14th, 2010
1:42 pm

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Poorly Disguised Criticism
with a secondary love language being

Complete set of results

Criticism: 8
Sarcasm: 7
Retreat Into Fantasy: 6
Receiving Abuse: 5
Substituting Drugs for Affection: 4


Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

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Sunday, November 7th, 2010
4:27 pm - dougal and the blue cat

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Thursday, November 4th, 2010
9:44 pm
best name EVER for a vegetable curry ... vegetative korma. right? right? and the most exciting thing ... i googled it and it doesn't exist.

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Wednesday, October 27th, 2010
7:55 pm
victor is the year eight kid i help unofficially because he's too bright not to be learning more than the teachers teach (one science teacher was trying to distill with the unsuitable equipment connected backwards the other day. i grit my teeth a lot in science. i think it might help if the science teacher test were a checkbox saying "do you believe in the supernatural"? if you're wondering, i'm an integration aide, meaning i sit in class with problem kids)

anyhoo, victor is coming to me for advice with his budding romance. this is today's exchange:

V: How should I exactly hug her? (the verbal action like softly, or dominate her body etc.)
and am i allowed to describe her appearance?
I so, what should be it? -
I like your hair, it looks pretty.
Your hair looks pretty, I like it.

S: your hair is pretty. it wouldn't look pretty if it weren't pretty, and you wouldn't think it was pretty if you didn't like it. keeping things simple is good because your goal is to be honest and straightforward despite the fact you have been reduced to caveman imbecility by your nervousness, so mmm, nice hair works too, for example. or, at 100% imbecility, girl pretty victor like would work. i'll cover your hug question tomorrow [at school], but remember mostly you discuss the relationship with her, not your friends because (a) it gives you something to talk about [as long as you don't spend your entire relationship talking about the relationship] (b) she's the one you're sharing intimacy with [to some extent, the relationship develops in step with your ability to comfortably discuss issues] and (c) your friends are idiots

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Friday, April 30th, 2010
11:03 pm

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Sunday, April 11th, 2010
12:24 am
someone fucking kill me before I go to another wedding

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Monday, March 15th, 2010
1:29 pm

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Tuesday, March 9th, 2010
2:22 pm
ahaaaaaaaa! you can stop firefox underlining words by putting those words in a simple text file called persdict.dat

this file has to live in the subfolder called [gibberish].default which is inside "Application Data\Firefox\Profiles"

so eg my file is "C:\Documents and Settings\Administrator\Application Data\Mozilla\Firefox\Profiles\1qk8vk78.default\persdict.dat"

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Wednesday, February 24th, 2010
12:38 pm
made chocolate pudding for amber and her chinese parents; and for the first time in about 4 puddings the sauce went to the bottom (solution: unlike ginger pudding you can't make the batter too tough just because you're floating hot liquid on top).

amber says only give her a little ice-cream because she doesn't like hot and cold. HA - she trots back with half a bowl of chocolate pudding looking for more ice-cream. the real problem is being chinese she's used to dessert being made from red beans, jelly, coconut milk, noodles and earwigs

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Thursday, January 28th, 2010
4:11 pm - mostly for clee who was listening to my rant on the subject before I got a chance to look it up
on christian propaganda being used to bully people who don't know any better, especially when they're listening to people who seem like a trustworthy christian version of Ian and Rob from the curiosity show

ok, we know the hard core christians tend to use very poor arguments, because it's not like they're trained to think ... that would be defeating the purpose

but my goat is thoroughly gotten when they lie about the premises underlying their argument.

fucking Ray Comfort, in Hell's Best Kept Secret, quotes an archaic version of galations 3:24
"wherefore the law was our schoolmaster to bring us to christ that we might be justified by faith"
in order to demonstrate the importance of old testament rules (and incidentally that ray doesn't know the difference between the ten commandments and the entire pentateuch), emphasising to the audience this obviously means the ten commandments is (not was the devious cunt) obviously supposed to be our schoolmaster.

the alert is that wherefore tends to not mean what you think in obsolete english.

actually, the alert is that in galations paul was in an early phase telling people in asia minor to embrace the new movement and not take jewish law so seriously; by the time he was writing to the corinthians he was back-pedaling from this position, because in cosmopolitan greek corinth the wild congregation were speaking in tongues and pretty much sucking each others dicks in a faith-is-all-you-need theology, and paul was pushing the jewish line a bit more to justify his view of proper christian behavior. this is the theology that gets developed more completely in the even later Romans.

Anyhoo, a modern translation runs more like:
(23)now before faith became, we were confined under the law, kept under restraint until faith should be revealed. (24)so that the law was our custodian until christ came, that we might be justified by faith. (25)but now that faith has come, we are no longer under a custodian
essentially saying the exact opposite of what ray is pretending it says. obviously a fundamentalist will still argue that galations doesn't contradict romans etc., but either way galations 3:24 itself clearly doesn't say what ray pretends it does, and this is the easiest thing in the world to check ... you really only need to read it in the context of the two surrounding verses even if you do only have a KJV (and I'm pretty certain that ray is a NIV boy when he's not being obscure).

so either ray is a lying cunthole, or willfully negligent. and I've seen too many people knowingly use an incorrect argument when it comes to saving people's souls to give him any benefit of the doubt

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11:15 am
so, a picture of the adorable Starbuck has me contemplating whether I'd jump at that despite knowing the inevitability of agonizing destruction. are we really doomed to a hell where the crazies are the ones that are transcendentally attractive?

edit: do you think maybe there's some kind of categorical difference between the horrible-scary-hide-the-knives borderlines and the twinkly ones, even though they're probably equally destructive? i.e. is there room for a new diagnostic category of Adorable Personality Disorder? obviously, it has the problem of people being deceived by the innocuous name of a dangerous condition, which is already a major pitfall with BPD, but seriously how much havoc could that cause?

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Friday, January 22nd, 2010
5:03 pm
got a dreadful scare today. Jan, from the disability employment program, SMSes to say she's passed my number to detective blah. I'm a very moral person, but I'm still thinking oh god oh god what could a detective be investigating. Anyway, after another garbled SMS I realise it's actually crazy tania, who is heavily involved in stalkers, cops, PTSD and complete life confusion and disarray - any discussion with a detective would basically involve "yes I know tania, she's batshit crazy, and almost certainly highly traumatised by something despite what a poor self-witness she makes". The SMS was labelled JAN because that's what effing month it is!

today has been too much. need an anxiety nap. then if I can sort my bills I can (a) visit clea and (b) see whether I can afford some much needed marijuana

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2:41 pm
just noticed the autism behavioural intervention association is only one letter away from spelling labia. damn. that's going to mess with my mind forever now

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Thursday, January 21st, 2010
11:57 pm
diggin my orsum conway's life icon

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7:31 pm
have been looking up home-made depilatory wax. almost all of it is boiled sugar plus lemon juice, although people DO like to add a little bit of something, usually honey or corn syrup (there's even one idiot trying to register a patent for adding a smidge of dextrose). and every here and there you get someone asking why the lemon juice is added, which is a really interesting exercise in the phenomenon that when people don't know the reason for something, they will say whatever pops into their head and imagine they have the sort of strong evidence that justifies relating something as a well known fact (lemon juice bleaches hair/tones the skin/stops the wax from sticking etc etc etc don't you know).

anyhoo, the fact that isn't ever mentioned on any home hair wax recipes is that boiling sugar with citric acid (actually any acid, or no acid if you can wait longer) makes invert sugar (glucose + fructose), which sets less crystalline than sucrose. which means that adding honey (invert sugar) or corn syrup (glucose) is retarded because this is what you are producing anyway. Or you can just boil honey until it's a bit thicker.

just thought you'd like to know

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Wednesday, January 20th, 2010
5:29 pm

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Monday, January 18th, 2010
3:40 pm
I don't know why it never occurred to me before, that when jesus rose from the dead he would most likely come back in zombie form...

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Monday, January 4th, 2010
2:19 pm




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